Goodbye Ruby Tuesday

I have to write about my time here in Korea now, even though I don't leave for another week. I'm afraid if I leave and write about it when I am at home, I won't be able to convey the types of emotions I am feeling at this particular time. 

I can honestly say that I couldn't be happier how things are ending here in Korea. For awhile, things were a struggle here. In the beginning I had a blast, and then the 'new-ness' wore off, and I began to struggle. I struggled with meeting people, with work, with the culture, with the daily life of being a foreigner in a different country. I have always traveled, and always loved being a foreigner, but here I felt embarrassed to be a foreigner. I felt like everyone hated me, stared at me, pointed at me, pushed me on the subway, got angry because I didn't speak any Korean. 

For a solid three or four months I became a hermit, I hibernated in my tiny apartment and did things on my own. I explored on my own, went to art galleries, restaurants, and coffee shops alone. All I wanted to do was be comfortable in Korea, but I didn't want to give up my independence, I didn't want to accept that my attitude had something to do with my outcome. 

But something started to change right before Christmas. I felt like I was beginning to get back to the person I used to be, the independent, strong, open-minded person I've always been. And I began to really like myself, really like being alone, and just became happier. In turn this made me happier at work, happier with my friends here, happier and more willing to say "yes" instead of "no". So I promised myself after Christmas I was going to go out with a bang. 

So the ending of Korea has been a blast, just like the beginning was. I have met people from all over the world here, and am leaving Korea with a smile on my face. I think this was the best decision I could have made at the time, and I don't regret it. I have struggled with regret in the past, but I truly think that the experience here and what I have gone through personally, will forever affect the person I am once I leave this country. 

It is really nice when things come to an end, and everyone seems to just come together because it's the right thing to do. People are nicer, people are happier, people say things to one another they probably should have said a long time ago. But I don't think it would have been the same if things didn't happen the way they did here in Korea. It's just how it was supposed to happen. It was like the universe was testing me, asking me if I could take it, testing my ability to react to things. 

Hey universe, I see your test, and I raise you a lifetime of being able to take it. 

Cheers.