Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Verbal Backdoor Trots


I'm just going to put it out there that I actually put the word diarrhea into Thesaurus.com to see if I could get a more "appropriate" word if you will to follow the word verbal in my entries title. I just couldn't pass this one up because, backdoor trots? That's funny. I don't care who you are, that's good stuff.

Whenever I am preparing for a big trip, going somewhere abroad, or just a move across country I forget how undeniably annoying it is just getting ready to depart. When I first moved to Hawaii I was young and naive. Even though I was scared shitless, I entered into a program that basically held my hand every step of the way, and then I had my mom doing more or less everything else for me. She even flew out to Oahu with me for the first week, made sure I got settled into the dorms alright, ate in the dining hall with me to inspect the food, and cried endlessly when I finally said, "Okay mom...you can go now".

When I went to Spain I first experienced the pain in the ass process of going to another country for an extended period of time, and all the bullshit that comes along with getting a Visa. I mean they actually expected me to FLY to Cali to physically get my Visa. News Flash Spanish Embassy, a flight to Cali from Hawaii isn't just a hop-skip-and-a-jump over the Pacific Ocean. It's damn expensive and now they don't even feed you that rubbery chicken parmesan that I so look forward to mid-flight.

The rest of times I've been out of the country were for backpacking trips or vacations. From Bangkok to Munich all I had to do was make sure I had my passport in hand, and try to spend some serious intimate time with my backpack to make sure we understood each other.

Preparing for South Korea has proved no different to all my previous adventures. Sure it's exciting, but for the most part it just blows. Visa's, passport photos that need to be 3.5cm x 4.5 cm instead of 2 x 2, criminal background checks, recruiters, and basically any other government run agency is enough to make me throw my hands up and say "It's too hard! I'm done!”

But I don't of course because I love being outside of America. I love being in other countries. I love traveling. I love living among the locals. And most of all I love being a foreigner.

As my departure date nears closer and closer, I am overwhelmed with the possibilities of the next year. I keep thinking about how great it's going to be, how hard it's going to be, and how the heck I'm going to figure out what comes next. However, today I spent a good hour thinking about all the stuff about the good ol' US of A that I'm going to miss. And so this post serves no purpose except to list the things I'll miss, and so that I can feel all nostalgic when I re-read and re-read this post millions of times over the next year. Here goes:


- The terms "medium" or "large" when deciding how many calories/caffeine you'll put into your body via ONE drink at the local cafe
- Brunch. The love affair between breakfast and lunch. Two words that'll make my heart melt. Breakfast Sandwich.
- My door slamming open, window shades flailing open as my mom tries to "nicely" wake me up.
- A steaming cup of delicious coffee aside my bedside table to make up for so abruptly waking me up
- The use of sarcasm. Because lets face it, lost in translation is an understatement when trying to be witty and sarcastic with the locals.
- Pickles and Peanut Butter. I don't know why, but only here can I truly enjoy binge-eating pickles or spoon fulls of crunchy Skippy.
- The reliability of my own toilet. I don't know what it is about going to the bathroom in another country, but inevitably something very bad happens whether I'm prompted to push the left side of a button or pull a string to flush the toilet.
- Websites like Hulu and Pandora. The only way I was going to get caught up on LOST was to lock myself in my room for 5 days while watching back-to-back episodes starting from the first season on Hulu.
- Last but not least: Trying to teach my dad the ins and outs of recycling as he holds up an empty plastic bottle of Coke completely dumbfounded.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

There are hummingbirds in Phoenix


Today I had a pretty cool moment, all things considering.  I was sitting outside on the patio with my cup of coffee, a fresh apple, and my chair facing directly into the sun. I probably looked more like a mental patient than anything else to the neighbors, but it's where I sat for a long time.  It was almost completely silent except for my occasional slurp of coffee or crisp bite of my apple. And then all of the sudden I heard it, and I saw it, and it made me smile. A hummingbird. As simple as that. A beautiful hummingbird surrounded me, poked and prodded around the bushes and flowers in my backyard.

This struck me as a pivotal moment only because I've only seen a hummingbird a handful of times, and because it brings back some powerful memories. When I attended high school I became very close to a boy and his family. During our time together something so gruesome and terrible happened to their family, it still scares me to this day to think about. The death of their first-born child, my companion's older brother came mid-way through his senior year. It nearly destroyed his mother, and this boy was never quite the same after what had happened. The grieving months directly after I would go over to the house almost everyday to be with the boy, and to sit with his mother incase she ever wanted to talk or needed a shoulder to cry on. Mostly she just cried, but one day her spirits seemed to be a little lighter. She told me this:

      "I know eventually I will get through this, that this will not define me or our family. Today I sat out on the deck in our backyard just as I do every morning, and today there was a hummingbird. Everyday before the death of my son the hummingbirds came to our feeders, flowers, and to keep me company when I would do yard-work on the deck. The day he died they stopped coming. I haven't seen a hummingbird for months. Today, a single hummingbird came and it gives me hope. I have been asking everyday for a sign that we will get through this, a symbol that things will move forward, and have yet to see anything different from our day to day grief. But today, a hummingbird came."

So needless to say, the few times I have seen a hummingbird it strikes some kind of sentimental "don't give up" kind of chord with me. And today, I needed that hummingbird. Lately I have been so consumed with anger, hatred, regret, hope and so much more that I worry it will swallow me whole and I will disappear forever.  All I want to be doing right now is to be in Asia, to start my traveling again. To be happy.  My travel plans have been slightly put on hold due to my now 5th surgery in less than a year. I am literally, physically, so consumed with pain that I sometimes wonder if this is causing my healing to progress so slowly. I hate the person I am because of this, I hate the person who pushed me into a decision that I never wanted and then walked away, but mostly I hate that I cannot let go.  One single person, and one single sentence has since changed my life forever and will keep changing it. While this person will never quite know the damage they have done, these few moments of hope are what's getting me through this right now.

Soon my body will heal and in turn I hope my mind will heal. And I can get back to traveling and experiencing all the wonderful things that comes along with that. Everyday is a new day right? Today is a good day. Today a hummingbird came.





Thursday, February 4, 2010

Como se dice "This is BOMB" en espanol?!

Today I set out to do something that I do quite often...bake. I have an insane weakness for cakes, brownies, candy, anything sweet and delicious. My baking abilities have come a long way, and I've always seemed to jump over many obstacles to make that perfect batch of cookies. I once made chocolate chip cookies in my dorm oven, that didn't heat higher than 200 degrees!! It wasn't the best batch of cookies, and it took a damn long time, but it goes to show how far I will go to satisfy my enemy...My Sweet Tooth.

As I was mixing together the ingredients for the double fudge brownies (A-Mazing), I started thinking about how many delicious sweets I have experienced over the years through traveling. So I decided to try to recount and remember all the wonderful treats that I've encountered along the way, and how many yummies I'm looking forward to with my upcoming travels! Yay!

** Oahu - Haupia

When I lived on Oahu, one of the most traditional Hawaiian desserts is called Haupia. It is a coconut cream based pudding, and is most often cut in squares and served like jello. It's kind of a toss up in terms of people liking it, and I think it might be a texture thing. It does have a kind of chunky, pudding, tapioca, jello type texture. So it can be a little hard to 'swallow' needless to say. But I love it. I love almost anything coconut flavored, and this to me is always a perfect light way to finish a big meal and still have the stomach to head out to the beach rockin' that hott beach bod!

** Spain - Natilla


During my time spent in Spain, the meals and the food were overall quite disappointing. I think people go to Spain thinking that Spanish food is more like Mexican food. The Spanish actually have very bland food, and often only flavor dishes with salt and pepper. While the huge amounts of fish consumed was a little overwhelming, there was one thing I was constantly looking forward to. Natilla!! It is a common dessert and really easy to make. Every time my host mom would make it, my roommate and I would see the little cups and scream "Natilllaaaa!!!!!". It is similar to flan, and is basically a custard type dish with eggs, milk, cinimmon and most often a ginger-snap cookie baked on top. It is amazing!

** Germany - Hazelnut Ice Cream

I've traveled to Germany several times, and each time I'm there I have to stop for ice cream. Aside from their chocolate, they have the most decadent, creamy, delicious ice cream. My personal favorite is Hazelnut. With an amazing waffle cone on a nice summer day...perfect. Plus it is really fun to say! Haselnuss bitte!!!

** Italy - Gelato

Everyone knows Italy's repuation for gelato, and let me tell you first hand it definitely lives up to its reputation. Gelato in Italy is hands down the best gelato, although some gelato joints I've had in Cali and Hawaii give the country a run for their money! My favorite? Green Tea gelato or Pistaccio. Yum!


So from French pasteries to Swedish chocolate, there are many many great things around the world that make me squeel inside from enjoyment. And with my upcoming trip to South Korea, I'm definitely looking forward to experiencing what the Koreans can throw my way. Bring on the sweets baby!