This Country Makes Me All Kinds of Crazy

I'm almost 100% positive that at any given moment in this country, I am completely, and utterly clueless as to what's going on. This has proved to be quite irritating for my A-type personality.

Of course I don't speak Korean, nor can I read the language. I can say about three words in Korean, and that has gotten me thus far. I truly do intend to learn more, but it's been a bit daunting. Especially when I go to speak I automatically turn to Spanish, which doesn't work out so well with these Koreans.

I remember when I first arrived; I was literally paralyzed in my own apartment. I woke up at the butt crack of dawn the first day, which hasn't happened since.... I dunno, birth. Apart from thinking, "whoa...this is morning?!" I was also trying to figure out where the hell I was. I had my backpack, my computer, and a small twin mattress lying on the floor. I had no food, no water, and no cell phone. For the next 8 hours or so I tried to convince myself to go outside and attempt to get something to eat. 

I was petrified. What if I tried to pay for something and the person at the counter asked me a question in Korean? Or what if I got lost and couldn't find my way back to the apartment? What if I came home to my apartment and there was a killer inside waiting to attack me, and then no one would find out for a long time because I wasn't reachable in this freaking country yet, and hadn't even reported to work, nor told my parents I had arrived safely? (This is how my brain works people. Deal with it.)

So eventually I made it down to the mini-stop, and eventually made it to my job, and eventually made new friends. But the confusion cloud that surrounds this country is just as thick as the mold growing in the upper right hand corner of my shower that I can't reach. 

I never know what's going on at work. Everyday I come and something has changed. The time I teach has changed, the order of classes has changed, the children get perms, the cd player is broken, the Korean teachers are nice, (but most of the time they're mean), or there are just no children all together. I can't even begin to think of how many times I've showed up to work and there are no children. I walk in and the teachers laugh like it's the funniest thing in the world. Then they make the big "X" motion with their arms (you know exactly what I'm talking about), and attempt to tell me there's no school today. You would think they could find a way to CALL me before making the hour trip to work. They know the word "no", and they know "teacher Kasserin", and they even know "today".  Surely they can connect a sentence over the phone like, "No teacher Kasserin today". 

You see the thing is, as much as Korea has the reputation of being so organized and efficient (or is that Japan? Who knows, the rule of thumb seems to be Asians have their shit together. Period), it's not the kind of organized and efficient that I need it to be. If you know me, you know how I am. And while it may drive you nuts, things have to be organized, things have to be clean, and things have to have a reason behind them. Otherwise my brain won't have it. 

For example; why do all Korean doors say 'push' in English, but are clearly all 'pull'? Or why can I only pay my utilities bill at one certain bank that is a 15-minute walk away, when there are at least 10 other banks on the way? Why does the Korean man with the button up shirt and bad comb-over on the subway in the morning insist on doing very inappropriate stretches that make everyone else around him uncomfortable? Why does my washing machine skip the rinse cycle sometimes, so that when I go to pull my clothes out they're still sopping in soap? Why do the Koreans do the 'Korean squat'? Doesn't it hurt their knees?

I never know the answer to these ‘whys' in this country, and the reasoning behind some of these things if you ask a Korean, are almost always ludicrous. "Excuse me, why isn't the air-conditioner on today?" "Not hot". "Yeah you're probably right. 36 above with 70% humidity does seem rather cool today". 

While living here I've learned I can't have complete control over my environment, nor do I want to. I've learned people are perfectly happy doing things that don't make any sense to me, and they're perfectly happy having no common sense reason behind it. I do know that this country keeps me on my toes nearly everyday. Heck, I'm a god-dammed ballerina over here. 

Give me a book, a cup of coffee, an art museum, a photography exhibit, live music, good beer, a person I love, something to clean, something to look forward to, any of these things and I'm happy. And I can find these things in Korea. Who knows, maybe I'm the one who doesn't make sense. Maybe I'm the crazy one. 

Haha. Yeah right.