Time

I've never met two more different people than my mother and my father. I can't even believe they've been married for as long as they have because they seem so fundamentally different. I mean really, it's not really a marriage after 30 some odd years is it? I wouldn't call it marriage, but successfully co-existing rather. (I'll hear an ear full of this later I'm sure.) Who knows, maybe they were more alike when they got married than they are today.

My dad is very calm, cool and collected. He's the "cooler than the cat that went to school just for lunch" kinda guy. Now granted, he's nearly 100 years old...so who's to say he wasn't ape shit insane in his early years. (I'm kidding dad. You don't look a day over 60.) And my mother, oh my mother. She does things at a mile a minute, and works herself until exhaustion everyday. But I've never met a person with more drive, more ambition, and more sass in their ass than my mother. All of which I love dearly. If my parents were Winnie the Pooh characters my mother would be Tigger, and my father would be Eeyore. (Not the sad and depressed part of Eeyore, just the cool, laid back, nonchalant-ness of Eeyore.)

This brings me to my next point. Can two people who are so different survive in a long lasting friendship? A long lasting relationship? Can it work?

While living in Korea, I have met a plethora of people who are vastly different than myself. I enjoy meeting and being around people like me. But there comes a point when the differences between two people become an obstacle that seems too hard to overcome. Can someone who is chronically early last against someone who is chronically late? Can someone who is a sarcastic asshole connect with someone who is painfully shy? Can a Jewish person fall in love with a Buddhist? (I'm just throwing this in there because lets face it, everyone loves Jewish people. Have you ever met a Jew that isn't a fucking riot? They're hilarious. Bottom line.)

What I'm getting at is, how do we make friendships work? How do we make relationships work? Of course it's easy to have acquaintances, and people you have coffee with once or twice a week. But I'm talking about our "people" in our lives. The ones that stick around, the ones that we let see us without our make up on. The ones we are willing to let brave the early morning hours of that dreaded dragon breath (at their own risk of course.)

Do these "people" even exist in the world? Or will I always have to be toning down my strong opinions and emotions in order to not offend someone, or hurt their feelings? Will I have to hide my true feelings and emotions in a relationship just to keep it going? I've realized since being here it has been quite the struggle to figure out what is easier. Is it easier being true to myself, or trying to please others for friendship? Does there have to be a choice? 

Maybe the "people" and relationships we seek in our lives just take time. Maybe as time goes on, you learn to leave 5 minutes later when meeting your chronically late friend. Maybe you learn to bite your tongue a little bit,  take a step back when things get too emotional. 

Maybe the reason why my parents have been married so long is because my dad is the only one that can handle my mom when she's stomping around the kitchen at 6 am because no one made the coffee. Or because my mom is the only one that can handle my dad when he's feeling ill, and she asks him what he's had to eat all day and he says, "chips". 

I've also learned that maybe I put too many expectations on friendships and relationships. I put people in one single category because I'm too afraid that's what they're doing to me. If Korea has taught me one thing thus far, it is patience. Maybe I need to learn a little patience in order for me to see the genuine friendships/relationships I've made. Perhaps it's just time.