Koreans and Their Nonsensical Ways : Part II

Koreans are very nonsensical. I too, am very nonsensical, but in a way that makes sense. To me. Don't judge, just laugh.

1- I sometimes feel like I'm living in an episode of Mad Men. (Best show ever by the way.) Except a more modern, incredibly crude, Korean kinda version. The business men drink an inordinate amount of alcohol all day everyday, and well into the evening. It's not unusual to be walking down the street to see a business man passed out on the sidewalk, still in his shiny business suit, looking all business like. (Minus the pile of puke beside him, and the drool coming from his half opened mouth.)

2- Koreans are insane about recycling. I'm talkin' separate bins, separate boxes, color coded, every last bit can be saved, kind of recycling. But yet they insist on packaging things in a way that makes their recycling obsession almost double the work and effort it has to be. If I buy a box of crackers in the states, it's only a matter of tearing the box open and maybe tearing the inside plastic bag open before I'm wrist deep enjoying my Wheat Thins. However here, it takes several more steps before I actually get to eat the crackers. First you have to open the box. Second you see that there are actually four tiny little bags of crackers inside the box. Then you go to open the individual bag of crackers, only to find a little plastic cup you have to pull out to get to the crackers. By then I'm so fed up, it's almost comical that there are only three tiny, limp, crackers sitting atop their plastic bed waiting for me to eat them.

3- Okay, I have to touch on what the women wear again. Some of the women dress so exquisite that I instantly turn into a Mexican construction worker, bring two fingers to my mouth, and let a whistle rip. But some of the women, my oh my, I can't for the life of me figure out what's going on in their little, overly worked minds. It seems anything goes. Matching is a term used quite loosely here. Stripes go with polka dots, checks go with Mickey Mouse, socks go with sandels. I saw a woman the other day wearing a fur coat on her top half, and the shortest jean shorts known to man. I wanted to scream at her, "which is it lady?! WINTER OR SUMMER?!"

4- Red lights are optional. In fact, traffic lights in general serve no actual purpose in Korea. I'll be waiting patiently for the little green man to give me the a-okay to cross the street, only to look over and see an ajuma and her visor pulled so far down her face she can hardly see, speeding down the street directly at me. I try to scream, "Ma'am! You're running a red light!" But she doesn't care, only speeds right past me 20 mph too fast, swerving to miss the other adjuma who has run the red light on the other side.

5- The kids I have in my class, are for the most part adorable. And with the absurd obsession with name brands here, the mothers send their kids to school dressed head to toe in brands like Burberry, Prada, Coach, Dolce and Cabana. Some of the outfits these kids wear to school, cost more than I make in a matter of three months. Trust me, I've googled it. It makes me want to scream because you know what we do in PRESCHOOL? We paint. And we run around outside in the playground. And we glue. And we eat red colored kimchi flavored everything. How do I say, "I'm sorry, but your child's $500 shirt that they wore to school today is completely ruined do to the massive amount of paint and gluing we did today", in Korean again?

I think this is sufficient enough for a second-parter in the nonsensical Koreans list. I should really write some of these down, because more often in not during the day I'm frantically looking around looking for another foreigner so that we can share a, "wtf?" moment. But for now I have lesson planning to do for the week ahead. :)