Ahhhh Reflection

Summer is here my friends. Summer's here, and he ain't messin' around. I find it's always good to reflect on the things we're thankful for in the evening time when it's cooler.  Because when I'm walking to school in 90 degree weather (and what feels like 1000% humidity) and there is so much sweat cumulating in my ass crack that I could collect it and live off of it for an entire year if I were stranded in the desert.....I'm not feelin' so thankful. 

Most of my days lately have been going a little something like this:

I wake up spread eagle style, drenched in sweat with my covers strewed about the room.  I get in the shower, revel at how amazing life seems under a shower, and fix myself a cup of coffee. Then I think to myself, " why in GODS name am I having HOT coffee right now?!" I spit my coffee out, and proceed to stand with my head halfway in the fridge for the next 40 minutes. I somehow manage to get myself ready without fainting, and make my way to school. On the 15-minute walk from the subway to the school, I'm cursing every non-sweaty, no-body hair Korean in sight. I'm also cursing every Korean woman in her mid-20's wearing what seems to be a very well put together clubbing outfit. Really ladies? It's Monday, and it's a million degrees. WHY are you wearing heels, tights, a mini-skirt, a t-shirt and a blazer?? It's rather absurd. 

I get to school and realize the gate is locked. AGAIN. "Oh Kasserin...press bell, press bell".  I press the "bell" for about 20 minutes because no one is near the office to hear the bell to buzz me in. Then inevitably a Korean teacher realizes that I'm not there.... you know teaching...and shuffles outside to let me in. "Kasserin! Kasserin! Late late! Teach teach!".  I usually smile and say sorry, but what I'm really thinking is no shit Sherlock. I've been standing outside for lord knows how long pushing that damn bell that none of you can hear. Sometimes I say things like "Oh! I'm so sorry! I was across the way, having myself an iced cafe latte, reading the morning newspaper. I completely lost track of time!" The teachers give me a strange look during these times of sarcasm, and just push me through to their classroom where the kids are waiting impatiently. 

I teach for 4 hours. But I'm convinced they've put me into some kind of time warp because it feels like I teach for about 10. I can just picture my Wongja (principal) sitting in her little office, turning back the time hour by hour, giggling to herself "He he he stupid American.... you think it's 5 o'clock somewhere? It's never 5 o'clock in Korea!"

During my teaching hours I consider two things. First, I think why in the hell haven't they turned on the air-conditioning. And secondly, I think how much damage I would really do if I just totally judo'd this kid and drop kicked him a good one to his face. Yeah, my students and I have a great relationship. But then there's Jin Bae. Who, no matter what has happened in class that day, says "Kasserin! I luuub you!" as I'm leaving. 

So the end of the teaching day is always a little better than the beginning. But then I leave again and come out into the vortex of heat hell. I walk down to the subway and hang around for an extra half hour trying to stay cool under-ground. I get back up to my apartment and gorge myself on pp & honeys, and usually pass out on my bed for an hour or two. Then I'll meet up with a friend for dinner or coffee, and we'll stroll down to Jeongja to walk along the river. 

When I arrive back at my apartment I realize this is exactly where I want to be right now. I realize when I meet a new friend that I know will be an asset to my life, it makes me appreciate the choices I've made to be here. And when I'm feeling anxious about waking up and doing it all over again, I think about these few moments of serenity I have before bed each night. I think about how calm it is, and how calm I am. I realize the kids are too cute to boot, the sun is shining, I have food in my fridge, coffee ready in the morning, and a paycheck coming soon. 

I realize I'm not waiting. I'm not waiting on anyone or anything. And that's a wonderful thing.