Figuring Out The Kind of Traveler, Friend, and Person I Want to be all in one Weekend

This past Friday was a holiday, Buddha’s birthday to be exact. We were excused from work on Friday, and I decided to visit a very dear friend of mine from Spain who is teaching 3 hours away in Gwangju. I left Thursday evening after work, and I have to say I am quite impressed with public transportation here in Korea. I showed up at one of the main train stations in Seoul, was able to book a train for an hour later, and arrived 3 hours on the dot later in Gwangju. It was the smoothest train traveling I have ever taken. 

We arrived back at her apartment near midnight, drank some wine, and went out on the town to dance the night away. On Friday afternoon, we decided to scout the town to see what was happening at a local temple. Of course it being Buddha’s birthday, there were tons of ceremonies and things to do in the towns center. We ended up walking around a small temple, and the local Koreans were actually quite pleased to see us there. Well at least it seemed. They might have just been surprised to see four young American women, and our friend Joe who is almost 7 feet tall. Needless to say they were in awe, and even asked our friend Rachel to come up on stage to talk about America. Saturday turned cold and rainy, which was a bit odd because Friday was insanely hot and humid. But it was wonderful just to sit around my friend’s apartment, drink wine and cook together on Saturday night. I arrive back in Bundang around 4ish on Sunday. 

 It's a funny thing coming back to my apartment here in Bundang. It felt like I was coming home, to my home. It was a good feeling, an accomplished feeling, a comforting feeling. I remember feeling that after arriving back from trips in Europe when I lived in Sevilla.  It makes me feel like I'm making a little dent in this chaotic life that is Korea.

I learned quite a lot from this short trip down South. But then again I always learn so much when I'm around inspiring women like my friend Anna. I have never met a more beautiful soul. She makes me realize what kind of person I am, and what kind of person I want to be. She makes me take a step back from my life, and really look into it from the outside. And when I see me through her eyes, I see someone strong, intelligent, loyal, creative, loving, and brave. When I speak with Anna I discover new music, new art, new styles that I want to adopt into my life. And every time I see her, I come back yearning for a creative outlet that's bursting at the seams. So I come back to Bundang in search of more knowledge about the culture of Korea, the artistic genre of Korea, and something that can/will sustain my creativity in Korea. Last week I went to an open mic night, but was too afraid to get up on stage. This week I will go to that open mic night, get up on stage, and lose my inhibitions. 

I also discovered what kind of traveler I want to be, and kind of traveler I have been. A friend of mine from high school also came along the trip down South, and has been in Korea for 6 months or so. However, she doesn't seem to be happy in Korea. And to be quite honest, not many foreigners seem to be happy in Korea. They complain...a lot. They complain about the Koreans, the culture, the city, the air, the water, the work. It's true what they say, "Misery Loves Company", because when a group of foreigners get together they seem to do nothing but complain. The one thing she kept saying that struck me as odd that I've heard numerous times before, "This is not the real world".  I finally said to her, this IS the real world! What other world could this be? "Back home", is no more real than the life we're living here. In that moment I realized the kind of traveler I want to be. I want to be always in the now, always in the moment, always in the country I am traveling in. I don't want to be constantly referring to things back "home", or constantly being anxious about what I will do if/when I return "home".  I want to be able to realize where I am in the world, why I am here in this place right now, where I have been, and where I am going. I want to be the kind of traveler that looks back occasionally, looks forwards sometimes, but is always looking in the mirror. Here. I am here. I am not at home; I am not in my next destination. I am here. 

Being around these women this weekend, also made me realize what kind of friend I want to be. And what kind of friend I hope that I am. I want to be the kind of friend that inspires creativity, that lends a hand or a cup of coffee in the morning. I want to be the kind of friend that makes eggs and toast in the morning. I want to be the kind of friend who gives advice, but most importantly doesn't feel like I need to give advice. I want to be able to listen freely first, and offer my opinion second. Recently I have come into a situation regarding a long-standing friendship that has confused me, that saddens me. I have come to the realization that I want to be the kind of friend that doesn't turn my back on you, that always has my door open. I want to be the kind of friend that is honest, even if honesty will hurt. I want to be the kind of friend who will do anything for friendship. The kind of person who will always be there, never turn my back, even when your back has been turned to me. 

The weekend prior to this was the Lotus Lantern Festival in celebration of Buddha’s birthday as well. I took some photos, although with so many people crowding the street it was hard to get a quality shot.  I have attached some photos, and apologize for the lack of photography skills. These past two weekends in Korea have been a blessing, have been truly character building. 

Is authenticity achievable while traveling?

Last night I was trying to fall asleep thinking about the usual three things I tend to think about before bed. 1) Whether or not my current situation could be a topic for the Oprah show. 2) Listing all the things I would say if I ever came across the person I hate the most. And 3) Where I'm going next, the people I'm going to meet, and the epic adventures I have encountered in the past.

But that's really beside the point. As far back as I can remember, my family and I have been moving around. I don't think we've ever lived in one place for more than four years maximum, and personally I've never lived anywhere longer than a year. I've changed apartments, houses, counties, every six months since I was 18 and moved away from "home".

While I have the drive to keep moving around, to keep traveling, to experience everything I can, sometimes I wonder just how much this 24-hour chaos is affecting me. Everyone always talks about their childhood best friends, or even their current best friends. I think I could name a "best" friend in every town I've ever lived in. But to say that I still keep in touch with all of them, or even half the people I've come across in my short lived life, would be a complete lie.

That's a little troubling for me. To me, the most important thing about life is the people we come in contact with, the lives we affect, and the people who affect ours. I am truly, genuinely interested in making authentic friendships and relationships. And to be honest, that has been really hard thus far. When you're constantly moving, traveling, and planning next trips it makes time and effort to get to know people rather difficult. For some. But not for me.

I sometimes wish everyone had the same desire. The simple desire to get to know another person, to affect and be affected. I know that acquaintances and small talk are unavoidable while living this life. But I'm constantly searching for something else, something a little more substantial.

And while I'm writing this I realize maybe it's not just the authentic relationships that I'm looking for. Maybe I'm looking for authentic experiences, to experience a new place, or a new life. I just know that for so long I was looking for these things, and in reality I wasn't being authentic to myself.

Confused yet? So am I. What I do know is this: if I meet you along the way, I promise that I will be genuinely interested in getting to know you, in what you're doing, and how you are. And I expect nothing more or nothing less in return. If you are a person, a country, or a book I read....I will be true to you. Because that's the way life should be.

I do not regret moving around all the time, or making my life a vagabond of sorts. Do I wish that I had a constant circle of friends and people I love around me? Sometimes. But I'm simply not satisfied with that kind of life.

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." -Mother Theresa

I also think it's amazing that at any given moment my life can be explained by a Led Zeppelin song. So cheers to rambling on, moving on, and traveling on.