Twenty Five Things in 25 Years

~ A quarter of a century huh? Hot-damn that's old. I feel old. It's my birthday (well technically tomorrow the 29th is), and I feel old. I wish I could take about 14 years of my 25 years here on Earth, and have a re-do. BUT, I vow to make the next 25 nothing but phenomenal. Nevertheless, here are 25 things I've learned, thought, or wanted to share after living for twenty-five years! ~


1. Coffee is the best beverage next to peach iced tea.

2. You can't disguise the taste of mayonnaise. Trying to sneak flavors in like pesto or sun dried tomato doesn't work. It still tastes like mayonnaise, it still is mayonnaise, and it's still disgusting.

3. Living with boys isn't easier than living with girls like I had thought. It's definitely a lot more fun, but it's not easier.

4. Sometimes when people ask me how I am, I shouldn't take it so literally. Sometimes I should just say, "Good, how are you?".

5. The time I spent in Sevilla is virtually untouchable. It was that good.

6. You can't try to recreate something that was so good, it's nearly impossible.

7. I love a man with a beard.

8. No matter what, there are ALWAYS security cameras in the stairways of hotels. ALWAYS.

9. If I don't clean something during the day, I don't feel productive.

10. Big breasts are overrated.

11. Led Zeppelin is one of the best bands of all time.

12. Red lipstick is really hard to pull off.

13. People who don't put the effort in to keep in touch, don't deserve to be kept in touch with. So you have got to let them go.

14. I could eat sushi everyday and never get tired of it.

15. If I'm not reading a book, I feel like something is missing in my life.

16. Empathy is by far the best attribute a person can have. Use it wisely.

17. A girl should know how to walk in heels. And walk in them well.

18. Chivalry is not dead.

19. Pro-choice doesn't mean pro-abortion. Most women should be on birth control and take responsibility for their own actions.

20. If I'm ever mad at you, all you have to do is hug me.

21. "Sometimes people seem rad for a really long time. And then they aren't." Direct quote from Jonathan Lapham. Love that kid.

22. Dancing makes life better.

23.  I really want to own an old mom and pop bakery one day. And become a professional cake decorator.

24. When I'm a little tipsy, I apparently speak fluent Spanish. I can still hang when I'm sober though. :)

25. Sometimes things aren't what they seem, sometimes people aren't who they seem. Sometimes you can spend years loving someone and then suddenly stop. Sometimes when you stop loving someone you find yourself again, you realize maybe you never really loved them.

  --> In this I have learned that I like the person I am. I will no longer put my dreams aside for someone else's. I will no longer act the way someone wants me to act. I will no longer apologize for being emotional. I will no longer change the person I am, what I look like, or how I feel to better suit someone's life. I have learned that after 25 years of living, I will become who I want to be. And today I am who I want to be.

Cheers to the next 25!

Daddy Dearest

My dad's a funny little man. It's true, quite literally. I'd say he's pretty funny at times, and every year he seems to be shrinking. I have no idea why he's shrinking, well actually I do but that's neither here nor there. But now I don't feel so bad when he peaks his little head out around the corner and I say, "Whatcha doin' lil guy?".

I've been home for a few months now, doing normal things people do when they're home. Like being cut open a lot (again neither here nor there), helping my dad settle into retirement (seriously boring), and saving money (and not making any either, so I don't know if it's technically "saving" money but rather trying really hard to keep my bank account at a standstill). 

All of the above makes me realize how much I cannot wait to live alone. I've never lived alone. I haven't lived alone for the entire 25 (well almost 25, in two days) years I've been on this Earth. And I've had some crazy ass roommates. I've had roommates that throw my clothes out of our 6-story window and walk around naked in front of my boyfriend. I've had roommates that aren't really roommates because they're only there to do the three S's; shit, shower, and shave. I've had roommates who poor milk all over the entire apartment when they move out. And I've had roommates who make up songs entitled Making Fun Of Retarded Kids Ain't Funny, and blast Hanson until the wee hours of the morning. 

But living with a handful of people that can be classified as socially inept, hasn't even compared to being back home and living with my parents. So I'm here to vent because venting to my parents about how annoying it is being back home, only gets met with comments about how lucky I am to be mooching off of them the last few months. Yeah yeah yeah, I'll be out of your hair (in fact out of the country) in less than a week 'rents. 

- Top 10 Things That Drive Me Crazy About My Dad:

1. He's nearly deaf. I discovered this because I can have an entire conversation with the back of the man's head, and he won't even move a muscle. Also because the T.V only goes up to 60, and it's ALWAYS on 60. 

2. He drives at least 5 mph UNDER the speed limit. 

3. He chews the exact same amount of chews each time he places an item of food in his mouth. Three open mouth chews, followed by four closed mouth chews before swallowing. (It's stuff you notice after awhile...trust me).

4. He can sit in the same position for up to 8 hours a day, in a row. This is called retirement. 

5. He hoards paper. It's true. There are stacks and stacks of paper in the office. If you try to designate a little corner for your own important papers, they get swallowed whole and lost forever in less than 2.5 seconds. 

6. The man loves paper towels. I find little wadded up sheets of paper towels in places you wouldn't believe all over our house. Under the couch cushions, in the pantry, on the table, under the table, in the bed, in the laundry basket, anywhere BUT the trashcan. 

7. He's not the best conversationalist. I can be stomping around the house crying hysterically, laughing hysterically, or doing anything hysterically, and he won't have a word to say about it. Not one. 

8. He doesn't own a cell phone. 

9. He watches Smallville. 

10. He can't figure out the washing machine. The last time he put his clothes in the washer, he found some insane wash cycle I didn't even know existed, but apparently washes your clothes for FOUR HOURS! 

** Of course I can't say all these things that drive me insane about my dad, without saying 10 things that I really love about my dad. Because hey, it's true what they say. Family: you can't live with 'em, and you can't live without 'em. 

10 Things That I Absolutely Adore About My Dad:

1. He's worn the same exact pajamas every night since I was born, and probably before that. I find it endearing. 

2. He's an amazing photographer. One day when I'm all grown up and have my own place in Sevilla, Edinburgh or New York, I'll have every photograph he's ever taken on every wall in my apartment. 

3. He has to get his pants hemmed, even jeans. Because he's little....and cute. 

4. When I was younger I was convinced he was the real life Inspector Gadget. He looks just like him. 

5. He has amazing taste in music, and still owns every cassette tape and CD he's ever bought. And not to mention his itunes library. I can single handedly thank him for my obsession and dire love of the blues. 

6. He's an extremely positive person, and always has a good attitude...all things considered. And those things being considered are my mom, my brother and myself. We're hell. 

7. He's really crafty. MacGyver ain't got nothin' on pops. 

8. He tries really hard to make my mom happy. And that's really sweet because my mom is insane. (Mom if you're reading this, that is a compliment. People who are not insane are mundane and boring. People who are not insane have office jobs and business degrees, thus being mundane and boring. Without your insanity we all would be nowhere).

9. He's probably the most genuine person I've ever met. 

10. He's really old fashioned, and I love that. He's into wooing, opening doors, saying please and thank you, trying harder, stuff like that. I'll marry a man like that one day. 

So dad, I guess I kinda like you sometimes. But I hope I never have to move home again. :)  

                                          Graduation 2009       
   

Is authenticity achievable while traveling?

Last night I was trying to fall asleep thinking about the usual three things I tend to think about before bed. 1) Whether or not my current situation could be a topic for the Oprah show. 2) Listing all the things I would say if I ever came across the person I hate the most. And 3) Where I'm going next, the people I'm going to meet, and the epic adventures I have encountered in the past.

But that's really beside the point. As far back as I can remember, my family and I have been moving around. I don't think we've ever lived in one place for more than four years maximum, and personally I've never lived anywhere longer than a year. I've changed apartments, houses, counties, every six months since I was 18 and moved away from "home".

While I have the drive to keep moving around, to keep traveling, to experience everything I can, sometimes I wonder just how much this 24-hour chaos is affecting me. Everyone always talks about their childhood best friends, or even their current best friends. I think I could name a "best" friend in every town I've ever lived in. But to say that I still keep in touch with all of them, or even half the people I've come across in my short lived life, would be a complete lie.

That's a little troubling for me. To me, the most important thing about life is the people we come in contact with, the lives we affect, and the people who affect ours. I am truly, genuinely interested in making authentic friendships and relationships. And to be honest, that has been really hard thus far. When you're constantly moving, traveling, and planning next trips it makes time and effort to get to know people rather difficult. For some. But not for me.

I sometimes wish everyone had the same desire. The simple desire to get to know another person, to affect and be affected. I know that acquaintances and small talk are unavoidable while living this life. But I'm constantly searching for something else, something a little more substantial.

And while I'm writing this I realize maybe it's not just the authentic relationships that I'm looking for. Maybe I'm looking for authentic experiences, to experience a new place, or a new life. I just know that for so long I was looking for these things, and in reality I wasn't being authentic to myself.

Confused yet? So am I. What I do know is this: if I meet you along the way, I promise that I will be genuinely interested in getting to know you, in what you're doing, and how you are. And I expect nothing more or nothing less in return. If you are a person, a country, or a book I read....I will be true to you. Because that's the way life should be.

I do not regret moving around all the time, or making my life a vagabond of sorts. Do I wish that I had a constant circle of friends and people I love around me? Sometimes. But I'm simply not satisfied with that kind of life.

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." -Mother Theresa

I also think it's amazing that at any given moment my life can be explained by a Led Zeppelin song. So cheers to rambling on, moving on, and traveling on. 

I Am Officially A Lost Girl

I did it! I'm lost in the best sense of the word that is. Awhile back I wrote a guest blog post for one of my favorite travel blogs. And they finally posted it!

You can check out my blog post about tattoos (similar to the one posted here on my blog with some minor changes and tips as well) at their site :

http://lostgirlsworld.com/

Comments are welcome as always!

Verbal Backdoor Trots

I'm just going to put it out there that I actually put the word diarrhea into Thesaurus.com to see if I could get a more "appropriate" word if you will to follow the word verbal in my entries title. I just couldn't pass this one up because, backdoor trots? That's funny. I don't care who you are, that's good stuff.

Whenever I am preparing for a big trip, going somewhere abroad, or just a move across country I forget how undeniably annoying it is just getting ready to depart. When I first moved to Hawaii I was young and naive. Even though I was scared shitless, I entered into a program that basically held my hand every step of the way, and then I had my mom doing more or less everything else for me. She even flew out to Oahu with me for the first week, made sure I got settled into the dorms alright, ate in the dining hall with me to inspect the food, and cried endlessly when I finally said, "Okay mom...you can go now".

When I went to Spain I first experienced the pain in the ass process of going to another country for an extended period of time, and all the bullshit that comes along with getting a Visa. I mean they actually expected me to FLY to Cali to physically get my Visa. News Flash Spanish Embassy, a flight to Cali from Hawaii isn't just a hop-skip-and-a-jump over the Pacific Ocean. It's damn expensive and now they don't even feed you that rubbery chicken parmesan that I so look forward to mid-flight.

The rest of times I've been out of the country were for backpacking trips or vacations. From Bangkok to Munich all I had to do was make sure I had my passport in hand, and try to spend some serious intimate time with my backpack to make sure we understood each other.

Preparing for South Korea has proved no different to all my previous adventures. Sure it's exciting, but for the most part it just blows. Visa's, passport photos that need to be 3.5cm x 4.5 cm instead of 2 x 2, criminal background checks, recruiters, and basically any other government run agency is enough to make me throw my hands up and say "It's too hard! I'm done!”

But I don't of course because I love being outside of America. I love being in other countries. I love traveling. I love living among the locals. And most of all I love being a foreigner.

As my departure date nears closer and closer, I am overwhelmed with the possibilities of the next year. I keep thinking about how great it's going to be, how hard it's going to be, and how the heck I'm going to figure out what comes next. However, today I spent a good hour thinking about all the stuff about the good ol' US of A that I'm going to miss. And so this post serves no purpose except to list the things I'll miss, and so that I can feel all nostalgic when I re-read and re-read this post millions of times over the next year. Here goes:


- The terms "medium" or "large" when deciding how many calories/caffeine you'll put into your body via ONE drink at the local cafe
- Brunch. The love affair between breakfast and lunch. Two words that'll make my heart melt. Breakfast Sandwich.
- My door slamming open, window shades flailing open as my mom tries to "nicely" wake me up.
- A steaming cup of delicious coffee aside my bedside table to make up for so abruptly waking me up
- The use of sarcasm. Because lets face it, lost in translation is an understatement when trying to be witty and sarcastic with the locals.
- Pickles and Peanut Butter. I don't know why, but only here can I truly enjoy binge-eating pickles or spoon fulls of crunchy Skippy.
- The reliability of my own toilet. I don't know what it is about going to the bathroom in another country, but inevitably something very bad happens whether I'm prompted to push the left side of a button or pull a string to flush the toilet.
- Websites like Hulu and Pandora. The only way I was going to get caught up on LOST was to lock myself in my room for 5 days while watching back-to-back episodes starting from the first season on Hulu.
- Last but not least: Trying to teach my dad the ins and outs of recycling as he holds up an empty plastic bottle of Coke completely dumbfounded.

There are hummingbirds in Phoenix

Today I had a pretty cool moment, all things considering.  I was sitting outside on the patio with my cup of coffee, a fresh apple, and my chair facing directly into the sun. I probably looked more like a mental patient than anything else to the neighbors, but it's where I sat for a long time.  It was almost completely silent except for my occasional slurp of coffee or crisp bite of my apple. And then all of the sudden I heard it, and I saw it, and it made me smile. A hummingbird. As simple as that. A beautiful hummingbird surrounded me, poked and prodded around the bushes and flowers in my backyard.

This struck me as a pivotal moment only because I've only seen a hummingbird a handful of times, and because it brings back some powerful memories. When I attended high school I became very close to a boy and his family. During our time together something so gruesome and terrible happened to their family, it still scares me to this day to think about. The death of their first-born child, my companion's older brother came mid-way through his senior year. It nearly destroyed his mother, and this boy was never quite the same after what had happened. The grieving months directly after I would go over to the house almost everyday to be with the boy, and to sit with his mother incase she ever wanted to talk or needed a shoulder to cry on. Mostly she just cried, but one day her spirits seemed to be a little lighter. She told me this:

      "I know eventually I will get through this, that this will not define me or our family. Today I sat out on the deck in our backyard just as I do every morning, and today there was a hummingbird. Everyday before the death of my son the hummingbirds came to our feeders, flowers, and to keep me company when I would do yard-work on the deck. The day he died they stopped coming. I haven't seen a hummingbird for months. Today, a single hummingbird came and it gives me hope. I have been asking everyday for a sign that we will get through this, a symbol that things will move forward, and have yet to see anything different from our day to day grief. But today, a hummingbird came."

So needless to say, the few times I have seen a hummingbird it strikes some kind of sentimental "don't give up" kind of chord with me. And today, I needed that hummingbird. Lately I have been so consumed with anger, hatred, regret, hope and so much more that I worry it will swallow me whole and I will disappear forever.  All I want to be doing right now is to be in Asia, to start my traveling again. To be happy.  My travel plans have been slightly put on hold due to my now 5th surgery in less than a year. I am literally, physically, so consumed with pain that I sometimes wonder if this is causing my healing to progress so slowly. I hate the person I am because of this, I hate the person who pushed me into a decision that I never wanted and then walked away, but mostly I hate that I cannot let go.  One single person, and one single sentence has since changed my life forever and will keep changing it. While this person will never quite know the damage they have done, these few moments of hope are what's getting me through this right now.

Soon my body will heal and in turn I hope my mind will heal. And I can get back to traveling and experiencing all the wonderful things that comes along with that. Everyday is a new day right? Today is a good day. Today a hummingbird came.

Como se dice "This is BOMB" en espanol?!

Today I set out to do something that I do quite often...bake. I have an insane weakness for cakes, brownies, candy, anything sweet and delicious. My baking abilities have come a long way, and I've always seemed to jump over many obstacles to make that perfect batch of cookies. I once made chocolate chip cookies in my dorm oven, that didn't heat higher than 200 degrees!! It wasn't the best batch of cookies, and it took a damn long time, but it goes to show how far I will go to satisfy my enemy...My Sweet Tooth.

As I was mixing together the ingredients for the double fudge brownies (A-Mazing), I started thinking about how many delicious sweets I have experienced over the years through traveling. So I decided to try to recount and remember all the wonderful treats that I've encountered along the way, and how many yummies I'm looking forward to with my upcoming travels! Yay!

** Oahu - Haupia

When I lived on Oahu, one of the most traditional Hawaiian desserts is called Haupia. It is a coconut cream based pudding, and is most often cut in squares and served like jello. It's kind of a toss up in terms of people liking it, and I think it might be a texture thing. It does have a kind of chunky, pudding, tapioca, jello type texture. So it can be a little hard to 'swallow' needless to say. But I love it. I love almost anything coconut flavored, and this to me is always a perfect light way to finish a big meal and still have the stomach to head out to the beach rockin' that hott beach bod!

** Spain - Natilla

During my time spent in Spain, the meals and the food were overall quite disappointing. I think people go to Spain thinking that Spanish food is more like Mexican food. The Spanish actually have very bland food, and often only flavor dishes with salt and pepper. While the huge amounts of fish consumed was a little overwhelming, there was one thing I was constantly looking forward to. Natilla!! It is a common dessert and really easy to make. Every time my host mom would make it, my roommate and I would see the little cups and scream "Natilllaaaa!!!!!". It is similar to flan, and is basically a custard type dish with eggs, milk, cinimmon and most often a ginger-snap cookie baked on top. It is amazing!

** Germany - Hazelnut Ice Cream

I've traveled to Germany several times, and each time I'm there I have to stop for ice cream. Aside from their chocolate, they have the most decadent, creamy, delicious ice cream. My personal favorite is Hazelnut. With an amazing waffle cone on a nice summer day...perfect. Plus it is really fun to say! Haselnuss bitte!!!

** Italy - Gelato

Everyone knows Italy's repuation for gelato, and let me tell you first hand it definitely lives up to its reputation. Gelato in Italy is hands down the best gelato, although some gelato joints I've had in Cali and Hawaii give the country a run for their money! My favorite? Green Tea gelato or Pistaccio. Yum!


So from French pasteries to Swedish chocolate, there are many many great things around the world that make me squeel inside from enjoyment. And with my upcoming trip to South Korea, I'm definitely looking forward to experiencing what the Koreans can throw my way. Bring on the sweets baby!