I'm trying to make up for my lack of blogging, but blogging can be harder than you think. But fear not, I come bearing delicious music that's bound to make you tap your foot, snap your fingers, and dance like a wild monkey. (What? You've never seen a dancing wild monkey?)
So with one of my favs and ipod hogging songs lately, here is Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. I love being able to see them too...aren't they ridiculously fabulous?!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Parent Anxiety
When I think about my mom and dad, I don't like to think of them as my parents...together. I like to think of them as separate entities. It makes the way I view them, the way I feel about them seem better somehow. I don't know if I could ever explain it in a way that makes sense to anyone but myself, so I won't try.
My parents have known each other their entire lives, since they were kids. I'm sure their families were so intertwined that people around the block may have thought they were all brothers and sisters, before they eventually did become brothers and sisters by marriage. They've known each other for like 40 or 50 years, and that's just crazy sauce.
It seems so strange to me now that I'm grown, now that I come back home for extended periods of time. To me, they seem so fundamentally different, so polar opposite. Perhaps at one time they were very similar, and never even imagined exactly how different they were.
I worry about my parents a lot. I worry about them like they're my kids. I worry they're not happy, with their jobs, with their children, with each other. Sometimes when I look through old photos of them, I see their faces and I wonder what they envisioned their live would be like. I wonder if they felt like I feel right now, making plans, putting things in motion, trying to see what lies ahead without looking too far ahead. I wonder if they feel disappointed in their path, if they feel cheated in any way. I wonder if they think they're running out of time, or if they are perfectly fine with the pace they're going.
I hope that there are moments in their lives when they have been truly happy, truly in love, and felt that at that exact moment everything was exactly as it was supposed to be. I hope they still believe that can happen now, and in the future. I hope they realized that at this point in their lives, they still have the power to change things. They still have the power of belief, of positivity, of anything. I hope the advice they give me, they still believe for themselves.
Sometimes it gives me anxiety. I think my dad doesn't eat enough, he's too thin. I think when the clock turns midnight and my mom isn't home from work yet, that something has happened.
But I do know that no matter what happens in the next half of my parents lives, they have had one hell of a ride. I do know that at some point they were meant for each other. At one point they both lived their dreams, and out of their moments of happiness came my brother and I. I hope when they see me they see good and are proud. And I hope they don't hate me if they never get grandchildren.
My parents have known each other their entire lives, since they were kids. I'm sure their families were so intertwined that people around the block may have thought they were all brothers and sisters, before they eventually did become brothers and sisters by marriage. They've known each other for like 40 or 50 years, and that's just crazy sauce.
It seems so strange to me now that I'm grown, now that I come back home for extended periods of time. To me, they seem so fundamentally different, so polar opposite. Perhaps at one time they were very similar, and never even imagined exactly how different they were.
I worry about my parents a lot. I worry about them like they're my kids. I worry they're not happy, with their jobs, with their children, with each other. Sometimes when I look through old photos of them, I see their faces and I wonder what they envisioned their live would be like. I wonder if they felt like I feel right now, making plans, putting things in motion, trying to see what lies ahead without looking too far ahead. I wonder if they feel disappointed in their path, if they feel cheated in any way. I wonder if they think they're running out of time, or if they are perfectly fine with the pace they're going.
I hope that there are moments in their lives when they have been truly happy, truly in love, and felt that at that exact moment everything was exactly as it was supposed to be. I hope they still believe that can happen now, and in the future. I hope they realized that at this point in their lives, they still have the power to change things. They still have the power of belief, of positivity, of anything. I hope the advice they give me, they still believe for themselves.
Sometimes it gives me anxiety. I think my dad doesn't eat enough, he's too thin. I think when the clock turns midnight and my mom isn't home from work yet, that something has happened.
But I do know that no matter what happens in the next half of my parents lives, they have had one hell of a ride. I do know that at some point they were meant for each other. At one point they both lived their dreams, and out of their moments of happiness came my brother and I. I hope when they see me they see good and are proud. And I hope they don't hate me if they never get grandchildren.
Chuck and Holly (1912)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Birthday Smirthday
So....yesterday was my birthday. Yep. The big 26. Which basically means I'm 30 because anything past 25 might as well be 30. I can tell you one thing, my body, my face, my well being is starting to feel more like a 30 year old. My crows feet, sagging skin, irritability is flying through the roof. I kid I kid, I'm in phenomenal shape, I love botox, and I owe my winning personality to finally getting out of Korea and working on moving to NYC baby!
Okay, all jokes aside, birthdays kinda suck as you get older eh? When I was younger it was like the second best day after Christmas. I would be counting down the day, so excited I could barely sleep. I would wake up and my mom would make her traditional french toast, and we would do whatever I wanted the rest of the day. I could do whatever I wanted because I was "the birthday girl", and nothing trumps the birthday girl.
The absolute best birthday I have ever had was my sweet sixteen. I remember being so bummed out because all day nothing "big" had happened. It seemed innocently enough, like just another day. My high school boyfriend was out of town on a baseball trip, and I didn't have many plans with my friends either. Around 3 or 4 o'clock, I got a call from one of my best friends asking if I wanted to head to the mall to help her look for a dress for an upcoming wedding she was attending. Reluctantly I said yes, it's not like I was doing anything else more interesting besides turning 16.
On the drive home, I received a call from my house. Assuming it was my mom, I picked up. But it was another friend of mine asking if I wanted to come over to her house for a sleepover. I was confused because the caller ID said my house, but it was my friend not my mom. I told her I would be over after I went home to gather some belongings. We pulled up to my house and all the lights were off. I didn't think much of it except for the fact that my mom was standing outside waiting for me. I asked her what the hell was going on, and she told me to come inside for a second. I go inside and the first thing I see is a HUGE like 10 foot long subway sandwich. Right away I knew this was going to be a night to remember. It's no secret, that sandwiches and myself, are quite fond of one another. Anyway, inching my way closer inside I turn the corner of our living room, and I see a sea of people yelling "SURPRISE!". The surprising part aside, my mom had called the local radio station, and got a DJ to come and set up a music/dance floor in the far corner of our living room. It was amazing! I had all my friends there, (some I wasn't even friends with haha), a live DJ, sandwiches, my boyfriend who was "supposedly out of town". It was honestly a great surprise, and I was thrilled with the spectacle.
The second, and close runner up was my 21st. Which involved shots starting at 10am, champagne and debauchery throughout the day, and a classy finish of 'Sexy Alligators' (which I'm fairly certain had Jagger in them, and they did not make me feel nor look sexy). It was amazing. And the term coined by my roommates at the time 'Katipalooza' will live on forever in good memories.
However, yesterday, was just yesterday. I suppose I can't expect every birthday to live up to those standards, but when you've had them it's hard not to compare. But it was nice as it could be for # 26. And the last year was just what I needed and just what I wanted for my 25th year in life. I saw things I never thought I'd see. I met people and did things I never though I would. And I made some great goals and decisions professionally and personally.
One thing that is so amazing about my life, is that each year it is drastically different than before. And I like it like that. Last year I was in Korea, the year before that Boston, and this year NYC. I like moving around, and I like doing different things. This year is all about friends, family, and being fabulous!
Here's to another crazy year! #26! Cheers!
Okay, all jokes aside, birthdays kinda suck as you get older eh? When I was younger it was like the second best day after Christmas. I would be counting down the day, so excited I could barely sleep. I would wake up and my mom would make her traditional french toast, and we would do whatever I wanted the rest of the day. I could do whatever I wanted because I was "the birthday girl", and nothing trumps the birthday girl.
The absolute best birthday I have ever had was my sweet sixteen. I remember being so bummed out because all day nothing "big" had happened. It seemed innocently enough, like just another day. My high school boyfriend was out of town on a baseball trip, and I didn't have many plans with my friends either. Around 3 or 4 o'clock, I got a call from one of my best friends asking if I wanted to head to the mall to help her look for a dress for an upcoming wedding she was attending. Reluctantly I said yes, it's not like I was doing anything else more interesting besides turning 16.
On the drive home, I received a call from my house. Assuming it was my mom, I picked up. But it was another friend of mine asking if I wanted to come over to her house for a sleepover. I was confused because the caller ID said my house, but it was my friend not my mom. I told her I would be over after I went home to gather some belongings. We pulled up to my house and all the lights were off. I didn't think much of it except for the fact that my mom was standing outside waiting for me. I asked her what the hell was going on, and she told me to come inside for a second. I go inside and the first thing I see is a HUGE like 10 foot long subway sandwich. Right away I knew this was going to be a night to remember. It's no secret, that sandwiches and myself, are quite fond of one another. Anyway, inching my way closer inside I turn the corner of our living room, and I see a sea of people yelling "SURPRISE!". The surprising part aside, my mom had called the local radio station, and got a DJ to come and set up a music/dance floor in the far corner of our living room. It was amazing! I had all my friends there, (some I wasn't even friends with haha), a live DJ, sandwiches, my boyfriend who was "supposedly out of town". It was honestly a great surprise, and I was thrilled with the spectacle.
The second, and close runner up was my 21st. Which involved shots starting at 10am, champagne and debauchery throughout the day, and a classy finish of 'Sexy Alligators' (which I'm fairly certain had Jagger in them, and they did not make me feel nor look sexy). It was amazing. And the term coined by my roommates at the time 'Katipalooza' will live on forever in good memories.
However, yesterday, was just yesterday. I suppose I can't expect every birthday to live up to those standards, but when you've had them it's hard not to compare. But it was nice as it could be for # 26. And the last year was just what I needed and just what I wanted for my 25th year in life. I saw things I never thought I'd see. I met people and did things I never though I would. And I made some great goals and decisions professionally and personally.
One thing that is so amazing about my life, is that each year it is drastically different than before. And I like it like that. Last year I was in Korea, the year before that Boston, and this year NYC. I like moving around, and I like doing different things. This year is all about friends, family, and being fabulous!
Here's to another crazy year! #26! Cheers!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Sunday Funday = Bob Dylan
I love Bob Dylan. Plain and simple. I could sit all day, any day, listening to Bob Dylan. My favorite Bob Dylan song, hands down, is 'Don't Think Twice, It's Alright'. It has so many different meanings for me, and has helped me through so much, especially in the past two years with a certain turn of events. ;)
I apologize for the shitty video, but it was really hard to find out there! Anyway, the lyrics are perfect, his voice is perfect, and it's just a great song. Enjoy
I apologize for the shitty video, but it was really hard to find out there! Anyway, the lyrics are perfect, his voice is perfect, and it's just a great song. Enjoy
Friday, March 18, 2011
Korea vs. America
I've been home for a few weeks now, although it seems like a lot longer! I have been so busy since being home, it seems as though I was never even in Asia! It's a weird feeling. But I do miss SOME things (emphasis on SOME because I ain't gonna lie...it's good to be back baby!) about Korea. And now I will tell the two people that actually read my blog what they are. :)
Things I miss about Korea :
1. The mandu lady...or at least the lady that cooks the yummy, delicious, mandu that I ate literally 4 times a week when I lived there. It was so cheap, so good, and so quick. The lady was always very nice, even when we went in a highly compromised state at 4am, and asked for mandu to go, then proceeded to sit down at a table and eat it.
2. Living alone. I don't know if I'll ever live alone again. Honestly! I think I'm too scared to live alone in America! It's more than hard staying with my parents right now, when I move to NYC (cross your fingers!) I'll have a wonderful roommate, and then in the future with my beard sportin', plaid shirt wearin', guitar playin', delicious food makin', smokin' hot babe of a hubby.
3. Glee nights. Yes I know I can have Glee nights here in America, but still, that was a highlight of the week. And I don't care who ya are, if you don't like Glee, you simply don't like to laugh and smile, and have a good time.
4. Trains, planes, and automobiles. It is true, getting around in America is much harder than in other countries and cities. I miss the ease of the subway and buses. And also the insane people who sell the most random shit in the subways, always a good time.
5. Being oblivious. I was clueless all the time in Korea. I could tune out everything around me, and be perfectly content. I couldn't understand the people around me, nor did I care. It seems very loud here because I can understand everything everyone says. And eavesdropping isn't what it used to be!
6. A job (although stressful at times) that I could go to in the morning, leave at 5pm, and not think about it another minute.
7. Occasionally I miss one or two (I repeat, ONE or TWO) of my kids. Mostly I miss Daniel and his adorable obsession with Michael Jackson.
8. I miss random nights, that go on for all hours of the night, long into the wee hours of the morning. Only the best of things, and the worst of things happened on those nights out.
9. Fruit stands. So much delicious, in season fruit all the time. SO GOOD.
10. Tea days, tea nights, tea everything. Just getting together with the girls over tea, and gossiping through the night.
Things I love about America:
1. Coffee with cream in the mornings. You can't get cream in Korea, and I missed it like NO other while I was there.
2. The calm, quiet, mornings. Who ever said 'Land of the Morning Calm' was a LIAR. Because it is never quiet in Korea. Never. I love waking up with my window open, or taking a walk late a night, and having it be so calm and wonderful.
3. Sandwiches. I love sandwiches more than I love anything. You can't beat the sandwiches here...anywhere in the states. You just can't.
4. BBQin' outside on a gorgeous Spring/Summer day.
5. Bathtubs.
6. The Today Show. Okay okay, I know I can watch it online from anywhere. But I miss my morning routine of coffee and the Today Show on the tube.
7. Cute white boys.
8. Target. Who doesn't love Target?
9. Paula Deen. Who doesn't love butter?
10. The music. The music scene, the artists, the way it makes me feel. All of it. Especially some good ass bluegrass, folk, banjo music. And listening to a good ol' southern band called Old Crow Medicine Show, is one of my favorite things to do. It just makes me so damn happy! I saw them once in Tennessee, and I'll never forget it.
Things I miss about Korea :
1. The mandu lady...or at least the lady that cooks the yummy, delicious, mandu that I ate literally 4 times a week when I lived there. It was so cheap, so good, and so quick. The lady was always very nice, even when we went in a highly compromised state at 4am, and asked for mandu to go, then proceeded to sit down at a table and eat it.
2. Living alone. I don't know if I'll ever live alone again. Honestly! I think I'm too scared to live alone in America! It's more than hard staying with my parents right now, when I move to NYC (cross your fingers!) I'll have a wonderful roommate, and then in the future with my beard sportin', plaid shirt wearin', guitar playin', delicious food makin', smokin' hot babe of a hubby.
3. Glee nights. Yes I know I can have Glee nights here in America, but still, that was a highlight of the week. And I don't care who ya are, if you don't like Glee, you simply don't like to laugh and smile, and have a good time.
4. Trains, planes, and automobiles. It is true, getting around in America is much harder than in other countries and cities. I miss the ease of the subway and buses. And also the insane people who sell the most random shit in the subways, always a good time.
5. Being oblivious. I was clueless all the time in Korea. I could tune out everything around me, and be perfectly content. I couldn't understand the people around me, nor did I care. It seems very loud here because I can understand everything everyone says. And eavesdropping isn't what it used to be!
6. A job (although stressful at times) that I could go to in the morning, leave at 5pm, and not think about it another minute.
7. Occasionally I miss one or two (I repeat, ONE or TWO) of my kids. Mostly I miss Daniel and his adorable obsession with Michael Jackson.
8. I miss random nights, that go on for all hours of the night, long into the wee hours of the morning. Only the best of things, and the worst of things happened on those nights out.
9. Fruit stands. So much delicious, in season fruit all the time. SO GOOD.
10. Tea days, tea nights, tea everything. Just getting together with the girls over tea, and gossiping through the night.
Things I love about America:
1. Coffee with cream in the mornings. You can't get cream in Korea, and I missed it like NO other while I was there.
2. The calm, quiet, mornings. Who ever said 'Land of the Morning Calm' was a LIAR. Because it is never quiet in Korea. Never. I love waking up with my window open, or taking a walk late a night, and having it be so calm and wonderful.
3. Sandwiches. I love sandwiches more than I love anything. You can't beat the sandwiches here...anywhere in the states. You just can't.
4. BBQin' outside on a gorgeous Spring/Summer day.
5. Bathtubs.
6. The Today Show. Okay okay, I know I can watch it online from anywhere. But I miss my morning routine of coffee and the Today Show on the tube.
7. Cute white boys.
8. Target. Who doesn't love Target?
9. Paula Deen. Who doesn't love butter?
10. The music. The music scene, the artists, the way it makes me feel. All of it. Especially some good ass bluegrass, folk, banjo music. And listening to a good ol' southern band called Old Crow Medicine Show, is one of my favorite things to do. It just makes me so damn happy! I saw them once in Tennessee, and I'll never forget it.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Home is where...my bed is.
It has been a few days since being back in good ol' America. It has been a trip that's for sure. The trip itself was hell, but now that I'm on the other side it's not so bad. On the trip back I flew to Japan first, and then to Portland Oregon before coming back to my house in AZ. I have never felt so tired in my entire life, and getting off the plane my dad was no where to be found seeing as he went to the wrong terminal.
The last few days in Korea were definitely strange, packing up my entire life for the year. I ended up throwing away half of my stuff in order to make it all fit into my back pack. But it's just stuff right? On my last night, I went to dinner with a few of my close friends and coffee afterwards. On the way from the restaurant to the coffee shop, my friend managed to lose her wallet somewhere. We all searched the streets, asked the street vendors, and racked our brains as to where it could be. So we spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what to do, since my friend had all of her cards and cash in her wallet, and no cell phone. We ended up going back to my apartment and calling her mom to wire money over, and the rest of us pooled together our spare cash to give until the money was wired.
One of the things I'll miss most about Korea is the sheer generosity of the people when it comes to certain things. While we were all frantically trying to figure out how my friend was going to survive the next month with no money, there was a knock at my apartment door. Our upstairs friend was on the other side, saying she was on the phone with a clothing store that had found the wallet! It turns out the wallet had a business card of our recruiter inside, and the woman who found the wallet contacted our recruiter, who contacted our friend, who found us worrying in my apartment.
I have heard of many stories like these before in Korea. People who lose their ipods in cabs, purses in clubs, only to go back a day later and they are still there. It amazes me how things just show up in Korea, eventually somewhere down the line, that thing you thought you lost manages to show up again.
I have come down with a nasty cold since being home as well, and there is nothing better than being home while having a cold. I can stretch out on the couch, and ask my mom for hot tea and water. It really is kind of a treat to be sick at home, rather than on the road.
This summer brings many little trips through out the U.S, while I get my passport renewed. And we'll see what happens next! I will keep you guys updated!
Cheers!
The last few days in Korea were definitely strange, packing up my entire life for the year. I ended up throwing away half of my stuff in order to make it all fit into my back pack. But it's just stuff right? On my last night, I went to dinner with a few of my close friends and coffee afterwards. On the way from the restaurant to the coffee shop, my friend managed to lose her wallet somewhere. We all searched the streets, asked the street vendors, and racked our brains as to where it could be. So we spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what to do, since my friend had all of her cards and cash in her wallet, and no cell phone. We ended up going back to my apartment and calling her mom to wire money over, and the rest of us pooled together our spare cash to give until the money was wired.
One of the things I'll miss most about Korea is the sheer generosity of the people when it comes to certain things. While we were all frantically trying to figure out how my friend was going to survive the next month with no money, there was a knock at my apartment door. Our upstairs friend was on the other side, saying she was on the phone with a clothing store that had found the wallet! It turns out the wallet had a business card of our recruiter inside, and the woman who found the wallet contacted our recruiter, who contacted our friend, who found us worrying in my apartment.
I have heard of many stories like these before in Korea. People who lose their ipods in cabs, purses in clubs, only to go back a day later and they are still there. It amazes me how things just show up in Korea, eventually somewhere down the line, that thing you thought you lost manages to show up again.
I have come down with a nasty cold since being home as well, and there is nothing better than being home while having a cold. I can stretch out on the couch, and ask my mom for hot tea and water. It really is kind of a treat to be sick at home, rather than on the road.
This summer brings many little trips through out the U.S, while I get my passport renewed. And we'll see what happens next! I will keep you guys updated!
Cheers!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday Funday = Vince Vaccaro
I am about to leave Korea in about 2 days, and it has been a whirlwind. It feels weird to be moving on and packing again. But I've been in this place many, many times before, in many different states and countries, with many different feelings about leaving a place.
But one thing that always sets me right when I'm packing is some good tunes. This one comes from a Canadian named Vince Vaccaro, who brings me back full circle to where I vision my life in the near future. If I could take all the places that I have lived and traveled in the world, and pack them into one place where I could live and wallow in forever, I would. This music in a strange way kind of does that for me. It reminds me of the laid back vibe in Hawaii, the nature vibe in Colorado and Tennessee, the hippie vibe of Humboldt, the friendships of Spain and Boston, the craziness of Korea.
It reminds me of that simple life that is so good.
But one thing that always sets me right when I'm packing is some good tunes. This one comes from a Canadian named Vince Vaccaro, who brings me back full circle to where I vision my life in the near future. If I could take all the places that I have lived and traveled in the world, and pack them into one place where I could live and wallow in forever, I would. This music in a strange way kind of does that for me. It reminds me of the laid back vibe in Hawaii, the nature vibe in Colorado and Tennessee, the hippie vibe of Humboldt, the friendships of Spain and Boston, the craziness of Korea.
It reminds me of that simple life that is so good.
Vince Vaccaro - Catch A Fire - Peak Performance Project 2010 from Vince Vaccaro on Vimeo.
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